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July 30th, 2006

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July 28th, 2006

04:25 pm My myspace seems to have temporarily (I hope) deleted itself. Annoying. I seem to use it more now than I used to. I think it's because I usually have to steal internet access on Glenn's laptop for only a few minutes at a time so I just stick to the one website. Anyway, I made it back to Prestwick, though it was a bit of a struggle as I was weighed down by a bag full of Kopparberg Pear Cider and Kronenbourg Blanc. We will maybe get drunk with a bit of style for once. Corrie McCall was on the train with me. We didn't talk. I'm not even sure she recognised me. But anyway when I heard her talking on the phone, she sounded like she'd been living in a rough part of Glasgow for about a decade and smoked about 80 cigarettes a day for that period as well. It's weird seeing people from school. If there is ever a reunion or anything like that I will probably just go on a drunken rampage and insult everyone. Sounds like fun really. I am going to make a big list of things I have to do before I am 20. I stole the idea from Scrubs. Except that JD is 30 and his list was sort of rubbish. Mine will be better. Current Mood: happy Current Music: "We Are Going To Be Friends" - White Stripes

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July 27th, 2006

04:05 pm The lottery machine broke at the Co-op yesterday. So many people were unhappy. I have never felt so hated. All these "deprived young men" were on the verge of stabbing me because they were unable to put on their "lucky dips". Pretty much everyone swore at me, etc. It was depressing. I find it very difficult to keep my patience sometimes. The customer is quite clearly not always right and, difficult though I am to wind up, I will probably end up getting sacked for yelling at a customer and telling them they're barred, etc. Perhaps even throwing one of the conveniently-placed bottles of spirits at them. Ibrox isn't as bad as I feared it would be, I never really feel unsafe or in danger as such, but I get the feeling that every so often bad things happen there. I'm nineteen. I must do more general stuff than when I was eighteen. Live more, etc, while I'm still free, young, healthy and have hair. Etc etc etc. Current Mood: determined Current Music: "Female of the Species" - Space

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July 25th, 2006

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July 16th, 2006

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July 15th, 2006

07:32 pm It's always weird coming back to Prestwick. I don't know why. I do it every other week really. The train was packed and I had to stand the whole way. These jakey bastards from Drumchapel were trying to fire into these two women from Troon near where I was standing. It was a shame. It was obvious they just were digusted but they tried to be polite and stuff. I felt bad for not being heroic. Nothing has happened at all. I haven't seen anyone in at least three weeks. Except for the people I like live with. I haven't been drunk in about six weeks. Apparently the 28th is our BIG party type thing. My birthday is the 27th so that works quite nicely. I would suggest everyone coming to Glasgow and going to a club that doesn't completely suck, but it's hard enough getting everyone together as it is. Plus, you might not want to sleep on my floor if you knew that a mouse lives in our kitchen. Mousetraps don't work. It doesn't take much to trigger a mousetrap, but a mouse is such a small animal that it can eat the cheese without triggering the trap. It has done this several times. Rat poison is probably the next step. I sleep on a mattress on the floor at the moment, until we get around to putting together the rest of the Ikea furniture. The closer you are to the floor in a mouse-infested house, the more terrifying. I have been having nightmares and stuff. Mice are such a weird, irrational thing to be scared of. I work at the Co-op now. It's ok. We're going on a staff trip paintballing somewhere. One of the guys who works there is bringing a whole load of his ex-army friends with him. They will shoot the shit out of me. There are lots of foreigners in Ibrox. Which is fair enough, I'm not suggesting it's a bad thing. But one Indian woman went mental at me yesterday for not stapling together her receipts and electric bill or something like that. She didn't bother to learn the English language when she came here, she just learnt the word "fucking". Current Location: My sister's bedroom, Prestwick Current Mood: bored Current Music: "The Bucket" - Kings of Leon

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July 5th, 2006

06:17 pm Watching the news this morning it became clear that I am not the only person who is put off by the grunting of female tennis players. Maria Sharapova refused to stop grunting though. Which is a shame as she is reasonably pretty. I have an interview at the Co-Op on Friday. This is handy as it's about 30 seconds away from my flat, but when I worked there before they kept pestering me for money they were supposed to have overpayed me. I hope they have forgotten about that. I fell asleep and left beer in the freezer last night. It is gradually melting in a big pan in the sunshine now. It smells weird, like a homebrew. I think it's because the alcohol melts before the water, so you start off with a big chunk of ice and a wee bit of very strong, smelly alcohol. What does it matter though, really? What a silly thing to talk about. Nothing exciting has happened. Current Location: Glasgow University Library (3rd floor) Current Mood: bored Current Music: "In A Manner Of Speaking" - Nouvelle Vague

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July 4th, 2006

04:23 pm I am still alive. The first day we were in our flat was July 1st when there is a huge Orange march thing. It was a bit scary then, people were going about with sectarian flags and bottling each other. But it's been fine since. I've probably just been lucky to spend last year in a ned-free area, I don't think Ibrox is much scarier than Prestwick really. But anyway. Everything takes so long to sort out. We still need to wait for some furniture to be delivered and for Sky and the internet to be set up and all. I am too impatient really. I've been watching a lot of daytime TV. Which means tennis mostly. Women's tennis ought to be brilliant but, to be honest, the grunting puts me off. And the muscles. Current Location: Mitchell Library Current Mood: okay Current Music: n/a

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June 30th, 2006

10:22 am Quick update before I scurry up to Glasgow to collect my keys. :) Nothing much has happened. I've played San Andreas for at least 6 hours a day, and waited around for someone to phone me and give me a job. Which they haven't. It's depressing. I suppose it has only been two days though. My brother is going to work on Belleisle golf course where he'll get paid even more. He already has saved up like £3000 in one year working as a skillseeker and living at home. Whereas I have amassed about £3000 of debt in one year. Perhaps university isn't really the right option... Current Mood: excited Current Music: "She Moves In Her Own Ways" - The Kooks

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June 28th, 2006

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June 26th, 2006

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June 25th, 2006

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June 21st, 2006

05:14 pm Boogaloo. I am in the Mitchell Library, Marc's internet haunt. Maybe he will show up here soon. Maybe not. Exciting? Slightly. I feel better now. Having so much free time is bad, I realised that I spend a huge chunk of it insulting myself. I am constantly worrying about bad things I've done to people. It's ridiculous. Some of the things happened years ago. I think I just need something to worry about. But anyway, on the train up I was looking out the window and thinking positive thoughts etc. It was nice in a way. I feel more confident, etc. Sometimes I randomly feel good and talkative and happy, and other times I feel less so and start talking quietly and not being able to think of stuff to say. It obviously isn't actually random, there must be some reason for it, and so maybe if I spend a few minutes each day just sort of psyching myself up things will improve. Not that things are bad or anything. I applied for various jobs today. Surely I will get one of them. I hate having to say how great I am in application forms and interviews and stuff. What are my strengths? It's not a question I feel comfortable answering. I need to work on interview technique I think. I always assumed it would be a case of "Six Highers? Five As and a B? You're hired" but obviously it's not. I need to work on answering stupid interview questions. And being less nervous. I think pretending to be confident really would solve the few problems that I have. So anyway. I hope your day has been nice. Current Location: Mitchell Library, Glasgow Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Steady As She Goes" - The Raconteurs (stuck in my head)

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June 19th, 2006

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June 14th, 2006

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June 12th, 2006

01:50 pm I have decided not to get drunk for a while. Instead I will pretend to be confident. Lol. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift looks like the worst film ever. Well... the worst film since The Omen. But as well as that, in the stupid trailers that are on every 30 seconds, it's funny that despite the film being set in Japan everyone has a gangster American accent. I am thinking up elaborate, road-less-taken ways of getting rich. The alternative is working in the Baker's Oven or Wellies or the Ramada Jarvis, etc. Oh yeah, I'm in Prestwick now. Socialise with me. Lots. Current Mood: determined Current Music: "Guns of Brixton" - Nouvelle Vague

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June 10th, 2006

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June 9th, 2006

10:19 am Wooo! World Cup! The games all kick off at decent times this year, none of that hearing Ronaldinho score the winner against England on the radio whilst walking to school. And I am old enough to drink and gamble. Go me. I started packing stuff up last night. It's a bit sad in a way. It's something I'll have to get used to though because, when I was thinking about it, I decided I probably don't want to live in Scotland for the rest of my life. Not even Glasgow, much as I like it here. I am too ambitious/arrogant/etc. Some people are capable of doing "better" things, they just would rather live where their friends and stuff are. I suppose I just wouldn't rather, which is probably quite a bad thing. It's not something I can control, in a way. I can't physically force myself not to think that I am going to do something impressive with my life, just like I couldn't physically force myself to support Jamaica. When I was at primary school, my reports would be full of this ridiculously overblown praise, stuff like how my teachers were sure I would go far and what not. It's fair enough trying to instill confidence in children, but there is confidence and there is over-confidence. Normally life at some point knocks you down to earth, there is usually someone smarter, faster, etc. But every time that happens to me, I just put it down to the fact that I'm either too shy or the fact that I never put any real effort into anything. I'm like "I would be just as good if I worked at it". I am some weird mixture of shyness and arrogance. Which is bad. If you're confident and arrogant, someone will eventually knock it out of you. If you're shy and modest, you don't feel as if you're destined to do great things so it doesn't matter. But if you're shy and arrogant, you can use the shyness to justify the arrogance. If that makes sense. But whatever. I was only going to talk about the World Cup, there was no real need to start psychoanalysing myself. Haha, they're already talking about the World Cup on the radio. I don't know how they're going to fill the next six hours... Current Mood: excited Current Music: "Wow" - Snow Patrol

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